The Unexpected Joy of the Ordinary: In Celebration of Being Average

Product Information

The reader learns that Gray was an alcoholic, that she had a job with Cosmopolitan at some point but for unknown reasons is now self-employed, and that she lost her father. She doesn’t allow the reader to connect with her story because there are no details provided on any of these significant life points. Her discussion on grieving the loss of her father was a good example of how confusing her story telling is throughout. She writes, Say a relationship ends; now I know he’s a cheater. Or if a boring but reliable source of income vanishes; now I can pursue something that doesn’t turn my brain into a narcoleptic. Having to move house; a new town becomes my oyster.” Catherine adds: “The negative bias is really strong in your relationships as well. One study showed that we need five positive experiences in a relationship to outweigh one negative experience. So, bear that in mind. If you have a big argument, try and make the next day a bit better.” Celebrate your ‘done’ lists So, what's the answer? THE UNEXPECTED JOY OF THE ORDINARY theorises that the solution is rediscovering the joy in the ordinary that we so often now forget to feel. Because we now expect the pleasure of a croissant, a hot shower, a yoga class, someone delivering our shopping to our door, we no longer feel its buzz. The joy of it whips through us like a bullet train, without pause.

But why are we so negative? The answer lies in our evolutionary past, and a region of our brain called the amygdala. Most of us are living average, normal lives. We have these flashes of extraordinary moments but they don't last very long... most of [life] is workaday and a bit humdrum and pedestrian. So why not embrace the joy of the ordinary? We've got nothing to lose.” Being thankful for the little things can be life-changingThe author is ignorant and uninformed in the areas she is trying to speak on, which we learn is because she actively avoids consuming the news or anything else that might be upsetting. Her perspective is ego-centric, and she is unaware of how life outside the upper-middle class looks. Overall, I gave this book one star because I didn’t like the author’s tone or messaging. There were many assumptions and generalizations made and not enough specifics provided. It was difficult to humanize and connect with the author. Most importantly, I didn’t get the sense the author wrote this book with a sincere intention to help readers better themselves. As a memoir this book really flops. Gray does not share memories of specific events that anchor her growth and story. I felt like the author keeps the reader at an arm’s length by mentioning “events” but never telling us what happened. It reminds me of a comic I saw the other day about a job interviewer asks the candidate to elaborate on being cryptic and mysterious, to which the candidate says, “I cannot, not since the incident.” (Nathan Wypyle – Strange Planet). Today I got the train home from work, put my book and my phone down for 15 minutes and just watched and listened to the rain pattering on the window. I felt so calm. It was an utter joy. My joy in the ordinary has likely made me irritating, to the gloom-mongers of the world. Former me would have hard-swerved current me. I have been known to weep at the beauty of sunrises, and I want to apologise for that, because I feel deeply uncool for typing it, but I’m not going to, because positivity should not be seen as uncool.

I’ve started a ‘gratitude diary.’ It’s lovely to appreciate the little things in life and I feel so much more at peace after writing in my diary. Then, I moved from the Midlands to London and expected a surfeit of intersectional friends as a cosmic reward, like when Laura Linney moved to Barbary Lane in Tales of the City. Instead, I struggled to make friends in the megatropolis of faceless London, where it is illegal to look strangers in the eye.

Shallow, tone deaf, and self-indulgent. Incredibly boring and at times unintelligible. This book was a bad memoir and a worse self-help book. If you are coping with loss, depression, divorce, etc. I advise you to steer clear of this one. I can understand writing a book focused on providing solutions for, “first world problems”, but I cannot support work that is uninformed and dismissive of the reality of many. The layout of this book was awkward to read. I stopped reading the “Odes to…” because they were tiringly descriptive and added nothing of value to the book. I found them a bit odd, and their sunny disposition was polarizing compared to the author’s otherwise bitter tone. They were also detached from the chapter goals.