Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step by Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship

Product Information

I was only reading it out of curiosity as I am not in a relationship that I am ambivalent about however it was fascinating applying some of the concepts to past relationships and understanding behaviours and differing perspectives that could could be deal breakers. If you and your partner have passionately felt but profoundly divergent preferences about how to live, and if the lifestyle you prefer is impossible with your partner, and if it’s clear that you’ll be happier living that lifestyle without your partner than living with your partner without that lifestyle, then you’ll be happy if you leave and unhappy if you stay. If your partner is all too often all too disrespectful to you and you realize that you do everything possible to limit your contact with your partner, except for those times where you absolutely must interact, then the level of disrespect has spoiled the atmosphere of your relationship and you’ll be happy if you leave. Imagine how you’d feel if God or some omniscient being said you had permission to leave your relationship if you wanted to.

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum - Sam Thomas Davies Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum - Sam

However, over time, your partner may have grown too comfortable, showed their true colours, stopped showing you how much they love you. A good therapist, after all, doesn't make decisions for you, or even give advice, as much as she offers guidelines and helps you find the answers for yourself, the right ones for you. Also, it offers guidance in answering the questions so that you can start making a diagnosis analysis on the relationship you and your partner are in.Take with grain of salt, then, and a recommendation to talk to a therapist one on one if truly stuck. Yet, even as she encourages insights, Kirshenbaum, a trained psychotherapist who offers relationship counseling in Boston, is careful to remain in neutral territory, making no hard and fast judgments. In spite of how hurt and deprived you feel, if you are still willing to deliver a concrete expression of love, without expecting anything back in the near future, there’s a real chance there’s a solid core of aliveness in your relationship.

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step by Step Guide to Help You Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step by Step Guide to Help

If the thought of a lifetime with it getting worse is not acceptable, you’ll be happiest if you leave. If those needs are so important that they’ll make all the difference between your being happy in life or not, then either you’ve got to find a way to get them satisfied in the relationship—and that means learning to negotiate and get whatever other help you need—or you owe it to yourself and your partner to leave the relationship. I would recommend strongly to those questioning their relationship but also to those who are interested in improving their role in their current relationship. If there’s something your partner does that makes your relationship too bad to stay in, and he acknowledges it, but he’s, in fact, unwilling to do anything about it, and if his unwillingness has been clear for at least six months, you’ll be happier if you leave.This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should even try—or if you need to go.